On The Pornography Question
Everyone agrees porn is bad. Even porn addicts agree porn is bad. It's one of those things that everyone just agrees to. There are lots of academic studies listing the ill-effects of porn. But who cares about studies and huge medicinal jargons. Most people just give some sperm count, T-levels argument against porn. But again those are all boring. Not wrong. Boring. When has academics convinced anyone to change their behaviour. There are memes which have singularly changed more human behaviours than the entire history of academia. So, why is porn really bad?
Porn isn't bad because “muh degeneracy.” Porn isn't bad because you're outsourcing a real experience to the digital realm. You and your girl indulging in an act of jerking off on video call is also digitising sex, but that's actually a great experience, but porn is not. Porn is bad because you're not feeling mind-numbing, demonic attraction for a woman who's in front of you. Porn is bad for the same reason fucking a woman you're not attracted to is bad. Porn is bad for the same reason a sex with dead chemistry is bad. Porn is bad for the same reason most marriages in a longhouse are bad. Porn is sexual communism.
People who have been reading me for a while would know about my longhouse theory and the various articles I have written on that. The reason most marriages in a longhouse are bad is because underneath that marriage is everything except the one thing that should be. Husbands and wives spend more time making a long list of useless relatives happy after marriage instead of truly exploring themselves. Even in their lives, their marriage is more about external acts than about their own internal dynamics. Longhouse sustains because of this, and this is the reason most marriages are actually bitter and sour underneath. A healthy relationship can have only attraction and desire towards each other as the core foundation, and not religion or family or kids or whatever. They're built on top of the foundation of desiring each other. But, most marriages are actually shit, and that's the reason porn is also shit.
When you're jerking off to porn you're not sharing any chemistry with the woman on screen, just as most longhoused couples don't share any chemistry even during actual fucking. Chemistry is a two-way route. One-sided “love” is Bollywood's contribution to sustain the longhouse - to make boys comfortable in looking at the woman they desire from afar, instead of approaching her with all senses lost. While watching porn, you're not sharing anything. You're not getting the heavenly experience of what it's like to have a woman who worships your dick, and is technically, and sometimes even literally, begging you to own her body and absolutely ravage her. You're not getting the experience of having a woman desire you so much that she prefers to be existentially destroyed by you on bed than be survived without you. A woman has a far higher sex drive than a man. Women are sexual savages. Porn is bad because you do not get the experience of being eaten alive by those savages. This experience can happen online as well.
Sometimes in life you end up getting into a long-distance relationship or a long-distance like arrangement. You then wake up every morning to find your girl eagerly waiting for you to wake up and send her naughty pics and wanting yours in return. She keeps blasting your phone throughout the day with pictures and videos of her body. In the evening, you get into a video call and you both masturbate the fuck out of yourselves. In such a relationship, you also get to have the experience of writing imaginary sex stories for your girl, and to read the ones she wrote for you. Those who have had this experience would know that words from a girl are far more seductive than all of the world's porn together. And then you finally meet her after few weeks or months, and then live the whole online experience in real life on steroids. That online experience is also via a screen and digitised, but that's not sexual communism. It's actually good.
You get to experience being so desired by a woman that when you wake up a few minutes late someday, she's clinically sad waiting for you. You get to experience what it's like to have a woman who keeps looking at her phone every ten seconds to see if you texted back. You get to experience what it's like to have a woman ask for your validation on everything from the colour of her panties to the food she eats via a smartphone. You get to experience what it's like to have a woman find sexual GIFs the whole day to seduce you. You get to experience what it's like to have a woman so hot and so submissive who's offering you her body through her phone that you just want to kill yourself. You get to experience what it's like to have a woman who you're so much in love with that her semi-naked body feels sexier to you than her fully naked body, because the experience of stripping her clothes is far superior to having her stripped already. You get to experience a desire that at the same time wants to have a life of forevers but also wants to burn all the guards down, where clothes seem like the worst of obstacles conceived by the useless human brain.
Most porn addicts have never had any experience of this kind of chemistry. Most sanskaari-soft-toys have also never had experience of this kind of chemistry, which is why they absolutely love the longhouse. Most couples are in misery because they don't share this kind of chemistry. Because once you get an experience of how a woman in love actually behaves and lives her life, you will just not be able to settle for anything less. A woman desiring you is the greatest thing that can happen to a man.
Desire, romance, love are not emotions, which is why no therapist is actually able to solve problems related to this. Which is also why Julius Evola in his “Eros and the Mysteries of Love: The Metaphysics of Sex” rejects all the evolutionary, biological, Darwinian explanations for sexuality and love, and instead describes them as spiritual acts and goes back to the myths of the ancients to truly understand this. Desire, romance and love are instincts. And today we live in a world where people are either overthinkers or over-feelers who believe in something as ghey as one-sided love or “waiting for my parents to get me arranged marriage.” No doubt it's the supreme ghey Karan Johar who glorified this psychological porn of one-sided love.
Porn is not just destroying these instincts, but also destroying the possibility of ever developing these instincts, and ever having this whole experience. Porn is debasing yourself. Porn is keeping yourself away from the embrace of a woman who's entire existence got destroyed and recreated after spending the first night with you. Porn is lowering your standards. Porn is settling. Porn is defeat.
There are however two positive utilities of porn. One is watching porn with your girl in the initial days. This is a kink for those who have an urge for this kind of kink. Can't be explained. However, long term your goal should be to no longer watch other people fuck, but to have recorded enough videos of you two fucking, and then making her uneasy by forcing her to see her getting-fucked face, whilst you feeling more uneasy than her, but holding the frame better than her. A man's world, fellas.
And second as a stimulant. Sometimes, watching realistic porn (most of them are fake) and not jerking off and just walking away, helps charge up your entire nervous system. This is a very powerful and a very risky excercise. If you lose control, you're gonna jerk the crap out of yourself, and will lose your resilience and clarity for the next many days. It's like trying to poke a sleeping demon with just the optimal pressure to not wake him up, because if he wakes up, you're fucked. It's one of the most powerful and dangerous motivators; should only be undertaken by men who are completely nuts and even they shouldn't do it often.