A very harsh reality about Indian marriages is that most of them are bad. They're sex-less; dead bedrooms. There's no attraction and desire for each other. Couples don't even know each other properly. Some of the women who message me, I know them much better and deeper than their husbands. Most married people are just fulfilling a social obligation. Guys just become money-minting bill-paying bots. Women take care of the house and on free-time bitch about their husbands in front of their friends or sisters or moms. The woman almost always has a quasi-extra-marital-affair running, assuming she's not having a full-blown affair. Most guys suffer alone. The reason for this is two-fold: 1) Guys in India are longhoused and stripped of their masculine nature. On this, I have written a lot and will do so more, but there’s a second factor, which is, 2) women have no idea what men want.
This essay is for the women.
Now, women, before I begin, I’m assuming that you’re not fat and disheveled. I’m assuming that you take care of yourself, that you look beautiful for your husband, that you don’t keep nagging and whining all the time. If no, then work on these fundamentals first. Lose weight. Get fit. Learn to look hot and sexy. And for God’s sake stop being a whinny bitch for both your husbands and kids; JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
To women who have satisfied the above-mentioned fundamentals and are still having a troubled or dead marriage, read along.
Hello there, Sweethearts.
How are you?
Did you feed your kids today?
Good.
I know your marriage has lost spark, or maybe it didn’t even have any to begin with. Don’t worry, I’ve got you. You're reading my blog which automatically makes you better than most women on the planet. You ladies are a superior specimen in the world of gynocentric witches. But, as with all women, you're also completely ignorant of men's nature. Don't worry, I'm here to help you. I'm, after all, a romantic who believes that women are extremely special and hence they should be protected and served by men at all times, and to do that all women should be locked in their bedrooms, handcuffed to the bed naked, fucked three times a day, and be fed fried chicken and coke once a day. But, until this misogynist world doesn't let us romantics create this utopia, I'm here to tell you some extremely fundamental truths about men and the ways with which you can amplify your relationship with your man a hundred fold.
Here we go:
I'll begin with an uncomfortable truth. Your man wants to fuck other women. There’s nothing you can do about that, and it’s important that you know that it isn’t personal. It has got nothing to do with you. Read these lines again until they get ingrained in your head: that it isn’t personal.
You know how when you want to fuck another man because you think your man is too soft and you fantasize about someone manlier? You know that guy you know online who you helplessly keep imagining banging? Or that ex-boyfriend who fucked you better than anyone else has? Well, you see, with you women that's personal. It’s directly related to the insufficiency of the man you are currently with. It means that your man isn't capable of satisfying you. But, when men look at other women, it isn’t personal. Not at all. We’re just designed to want to spread our DNA across the entire planet. Every man has a Ghengis Khan built into his genes and we struggle with it every single day because it is frowned upon to impregnate multiple women at once.
Well, that sucks, doesn’t it? Yeah, I get it. You want your man to think you are the apple of his eye. And you very well may be! He may fantasize about you all the time. He may genuinely want to fuck you very often, as much as he can. But I am telling you this right now: when he sees a hot, young girl with a tight body, he wants to fuck her. Or even if he sees a giant pair of young, perky tits. And this desire has absolutely nothing to do with you. We’re just built that way. Sorry, I know it sucks. This doesn't mean that your man is gonna cheat on you. Absolutely not. Most men won't. It's just that we want to. Doesn't mean we will. It's kinda like we also want to buy guns and go full Call of Duty against terrorists as well, but we won't.
But, there’s a way to keep him interested. Not bored. Not looking around. Not 100% of the time anyway. He’s still going to look around, but you want to keep him at the edge of his seat. You want him wondering what’s going to happen next. Humans, both men and women, love spontaneity. But we like different types of spontaneity. You would love to wake up and have your bags packed for you and for your man to say “Cancel your plans. We’re going to Paris. Just us.” Very romantic, right? That’s the kind of spontaneity you crave. Men, on the other hand, we crave a different type of spontaneity.
What kind? Well, it’s going to sound a little low-class. Maybe don’t talk about it in a polite environment. But your man wants spontaneous sex. He wants you to come to his lap and start kissing him suddenly on a random Tuesday afternoon at 3pm. There's an ever greater craving men have. He wants spontaneous blowjobs. Start removing his pants randomly on a weekday and start sucking his cock. Your man will fight the entire universe for you if you give him this every week. If he asks why you do this, you have to tell him that you find him uncontrollably hot, that he drives your hormones crazy that doesn’t get satisfied until you have had his body and cum. Which brings me to another thing your man wants from you.
You have to make your man feel that he is hot for you. Being in a relationship where men aren’t allowed to fuck other women has a cost. And the cost is that your man wonders if he’s “still got it.” If he can still attract other women. If other women, other than you (assuming you do), want to fuck him. That means he wants to hear that he does things that you think are hot. This doesn’t mean that you need to be worshipping the ground he walks on. But it does mean that you need to say something that you like about him, now and then. Your man wants to feel like you would still want to fuck him even if you weren’t with him. And you do that by telling him things about him that you think are hot. Even if there isn’t anything he does that you think is hot, make it up. Find something small. You love when he cooks for you. You love how he looks in that shirt. Find something. Just any random shit like, “I love the way you wipe your eyes when you wake up.” It will go a long way. Indian couples don’t compliment their partners at all. I know the longhouse hasn’t taught you how to value human life, it only teaches life-shaming moralities, but you need to annihilate the longhouse, ladies, if you want to have a happy married life with your man. Complimenting him has got something to do with much more than just ego. A man wants to be respected and admired above everything else. If you don't make him feel admirable and hot, he will turn into a miserable husband and father. You wouldn't want that, now would you, sweetheart? Make your man feel like he has “still got it.” Trust me, this will go a long long way.
The next thing that you need to do is cook him delicious food. Cook food he loves to eat. Load it up with the amount of spices he likes. Increase the protein in his dishes. Fuck all the healthcare experts who say that you need to decrease spices and oils and fats. It's all bullshit. Cook whatever he finds delicious, and put efforts into learning better ways to cook and more exotic dishes. I'll give you a secret: Shhh, don't tell this to anyone. Cook the food he likes in front of him. Meaning, say your man likes butter chicken and naan. Keep the butter chicken ready before he comes from work, but cook the naan in front of him. He should see you prepare that and bring it to him pipping hot. We men love when women do this. Why do we love seeing women cook in front of us? Because we are men. We are built this way. We love seeing you in a backless blouse cook naan on the counter, while we map the curvature of your ass followed by mapping the curvature on the naan.
Finally, there's one last thing that you need to do. This has to do with a man’s desire to be left alone, to do his own thing, and for you to not take it personally.
You hate when your man is just on his phone being a retard, right? Just looking at that fucking phone, giggling like a little kid. Well, your husband is on Twitter laughing at extremist memes. He’s in group chats with his friends talking about football or just bullying someone. The things that go on in that phone are infinitely more entertaining than anything he’s going to find in real life. The only thing that is going to appeal to him more is receiving a blowjob on the spot. Interrupt him with a nice blowjob and he will forget that he even has a phone.
But the goal is not for you to interrupt him by sucking his dick while he’s on his phone. If you want to, by all means do it. But you need to leave him alone. We like to be alone. He wants to be alone and that isn’t because he doesn’t want to spend time with you. We like to turn off the world and be a retard, thinking about nothing in particular. I know it's hard for you to understand it, because you women aren't capable of doing nothing and thinking nothing. You are eternally punished with thoughts and restlessness, but we men, we can go into a state of doing nothing, and we want to do it almost everyday. Being a clown on our phones recharges our batteries like shopping does for you. Why? Because we’re clowns. We have a Genghis Khan and the Comedian, both built into us. We’re men. We like to laugh with our friends on stupid jokes and just shoot the shit. We are silly creatures who love blowjobs.
None of this is personal. You see, womanhood is a function and derivative of the patriarchy. But, manhood has an independent existence way bigger than your mind can comprehend. So, the key for you is to not take any of these things personally and do four things for your man:
1) Give him spontaneous sex every week. Better if it's a blowjob.
2) Make him feel hot and sexy.
3) Cook delicious food for him, in front of him.
4) Leave him the fuck alone every once in a while.
Whether you’re just starting your romantic life or you’re years deep into marriage with kids, it's never too late or too early to start doing these things. Trust me, your married life, your personal life, and everything else, will instantly becoming many times better and vibrant.
Now go, start preparing your husband’s favorite dish and tonight, give him the best blowjob any woman has ever given to any man in history.
All the best, you beautiful ladies!
You slay, Queens!